God's Heartache

God’s heartache 

Mat 18:12 – 14 (NKJV): "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that [sheep] than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”

God sometimes allows circumstances in my life through which He allows me to see and also feel things from his perspective.  Recently He allowed me to feel something of what He feels when we don’t draw near to Him because we feel ashamed about our past sin.  He has done so much in order for us to not only be cleansed from our past sin, but also to be free from the consciousness of our sin.  We all know the Gospel message so well.  Jesus Christ left his heavenly glory to come to earth, live a sinless life, show us the way to the Father who offers us forgiveness based on His great heart of love and mercy, and when He left, sent us the Holy Spirit to indwell us and help us to live the holy lifestyle we are able to live, enabled by his grace, and be united with the Father through intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. A Man, Jesus, gave up his earthly life so we could see and have eternal life.  For around 4000 years mankind waited for Him to come.  He came and He made the way for us to live life in the abundance of his grace, and we are the privileged ones who inherited the promise that so many others waited such a long time for (Hebrews 11:39-40), but because we have a poor understanding of what He’s done for us, we remain conscious of our sin and weakness and are reluctant to draw near for intimacy with Him. People fear humiliation and shame more than they fear death.  We are ashamed, and after all He’s done so that we don't have to believe the lies of sin, shame and death, it breaks His heart that something like this would hinder us from enjoying his glorious presence in our lives.  John Bevere recently posted this on his social page: “One of the greatest hindrances to a believer ruling in life is a sin consciousness.” 

Once we have truly repented and asked forgiveness for our sin, and although we may still bear the consequences of that sin (for example a single mother who has a child which was conceived outside of wedlock), God really doesn’t care about that past sin, to say the least.  I think that He hates the sin consciousness that we allow to steal from us the fullness of joy He has meant for us to experience in his presence (Psalm 16: 11). He’s love for us is so overwhelming and for every single human being on earth, his heart is full of love, and I believe that if a hindrance like sin consciousness prevents us from fully enjoying his love, it breaks his heart. Maybe some of us have wondered whether God even takes notice of us, since there are so many people in the world.  How is it possible that He can love everyone equally and have the same amount of longing in his heart for every single person to come into an intimate relationship with Him? God’s relationship with each individual is truly unique, though based on the same values. So even though there are so many people who enjoy such deep and intimate relationships with Him, none of them can be a replacement for the one who hasn’t entered into relationship with Him, or for the one who’s keeping his heart closed because of his sin consciousness, or for any other reason. And for every single one of those who are not drawing near to Him, his heart is aching with longing.  It is as if He has in his heart a ‘pocket’ full of love for every person, and when that love is prevented to flow to that person, it just stays there and causes that heartache. A mother who has a child, who went wayward and doesn’t want to receive her love, may understand this concept very well.  If she has other children who love her, they are a blessing, but they cannot bring relief to the heartache she feels because of the one who isn’t responding. 

 

Our sin consciousness and shame is so insignificant (even ridiculous) in the light of his extravagant love for us, so let us not give it the time of day it doesn’t deserve.  And once we have determined to see our shame the same as we see our sin, i.e. left at the Cross of Christ, when we chose to die with Him so that we could be raised into the New Life with Him, and once we are back in intimate relationship with Him, let us also be reconciled to our brother or sister:  Matt 18:15 (NKJV) "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”

Anita, 2012